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Tags: calming cats, jumping streams, survival, survival tips, Tiger Mane
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Tiger Mane's Survival Blog 
February 19, 2009 at 3:33 am |
Dear Tiger mane. Is it true that you were the only man around when Mrs Grills went in to labour? Legend has it you performed a perfect C-section using only a belt buckle then made sweet love to her.
PS: What is the true nature of your relationship with Camp Fire?
February 19, 2009 at 4:10 am |
Hello Tiger Man,
I must follow up from the question from Beaver Storm.
Your comments are rash and could potentially cause a fire storm in the swells of the jungle. However having said that our relationship is truly based on the ability and determination to try and devend ourselves against 4-5 meter sharks in the bering sea. This is carried out with nothing more than our “BARE HANDS”.
PS: What sort of bloody name is beaver storm anyway? Are you referring to a Beaver in a Storm. You need to get out in the jungle more dude.
February 19, 2009 at 4:21 am |
Shit Tiger Mane glad to hear you are safe. I thought once you fell down that 500 ft ridge you were gone…then I heard you survived and you were nurtered to health by the local tribe but then they tried to cook you alive and eat you. How is the leg chair you were using for a penis these days…still circumsised by that bloody chainshaw…..god they were good times huh. At least you know you always have good old Machete Swan to give it a nice touch up if you need.
Anyway now I know you are alive I was wondering if you wanted to go base jumping off the international space station some time. Supposed to be pretty narly.
Camp Fire is already on his way there…..you two made babies yet..then he would be Tiger Fire, or Camp Mane
Catch you soon Tiger Man
Love Machet Swan
February 19, 2009 at 6:40 am |
Thank you all for your kind words my team of extreme MEN. So many questions to answer and I still have to peel that donkey for dinner.
Beaver Storm I have had the pleasure of meeting Bear Grylls’ mother yet i’m afraid you’re getting confused with the time i helped a hippo give birth to Gary Coleman.
Camp Fire you’re a worthy foe. How can I forget the time you ate a whole ant colony just to prove a point – you were at it for days.
Machete Swan so many memories. I remember the time you solo climbed to the top of K2 and you didn’t even care. Later saying that it was lame and you’d do it in the buff next time.
I’m in the process of sending out the call to all other AWESOME SURVIVAL MEN so expect to hear from our friends and foes shortly.
February 21, 2009 at 2:18 am |
Helloooooooo booooooooys Hihihi
Has anybody seen my pink tank-top??? I have been looking for it everywhere, its one of my favourites of all the pink tank-tops i have.
Uuhhh I have really exciting news: I am officially on a shrimp diet!!!!! How exciting is that? And all for a good reason, because apparently Flamingos get their color from carotenoid pigments in their food which comes from shrimps. That was always my biggest dream to have pink coloured skin. Hihihihi
Anyway here are some more Flamingo facts which I think are essential to know if you want to survive in the jungle:
– The joint in their leg about halfway up that looks like a backward knee is actually an ankle.
– Flamingos, like most birds, often stand on one leg to keep the foot warm and conserve body heat.
– Flamingos can drink hot water from geysers at temperatures that are almost boiling.
– The Flamingo has little or no sense of smell.
– The Flamingo has been known to fly up to 600km in one night.
– And they are very noisy: squawking, honking, grunting and even growling. Hihihi a bit like me Hihihihi
Alright I see you boooooooooys later byyyyyye byyyyyyye Hihihihi